Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Pinball Violence in Movies No. 1

One of the saddest things, EVER, is to see an innocent pinball machine maimed, scorched, dropped, or otherwise destroyed in a movie.  Pinball is such a good, innocent, pure form of fun, that a pinball machine getting destroyed in a movie can mean one of two things:

-The person doing the pinball destruction is pure, unadulterated evil. 
-S*** is getting REAL!

I don't know where this unimaginable glut of pinball machines comes from!  I'll take them off your hands for you, Hollywood!  Sigh...  I present to you No. 1 in my museum of pinball violence:  Lasterblast.

The basically sums it up.  Billy is a wimp, comes across an alien laser, it bonds to him, and turns him dag-nasty evil.  This is a really weird movie that I think they did a mystery science 3000 episode about.  The pinball scene happens pretty far into the movie.  Billy is pretty far gone at this point.  The scene cuts to him, and with NO provocation...


He lets loose his lasers!  The machine is clearly outside in a parking lot, but in the next scene he's running out of a building, so I guess the machine was inside.  Since he doesn't destroy anything else inside, he was clearly on a pinball assassination mission.  Maybe he was so frustrated that he couldn't put up a decent game with his ugly laser arm.  You can watch the scene here (it's about 6:50 in.)  What gets me the most is how sudden it is!

There's also a scene where billy blows away a Star Wars billboard, which just leads me to believe that he is literally going after everything I love and hold dear!

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